Diva!

Posted by Jill Chivers in My Story

It’s a steamy Sunday here on Ozzieland, the last day of January 2010 (zing! did you hear that?? The month just went zipping by!) and we’re up to blog posting #14.

I saw my friend Judy, aka the Diva of international proportions yesterday. We went to see the movie It’s Complicated together (and I must report that the most complicated thing I found about the film was trying to ascertain what emotional state Alec Baldwin was attempting to convey based on the facial expression in use at any particular moment. If I were to be so bold, I would venture the words “miscast”. But I digress). Amongst discussing the merits of casting the gravel-voiced Alec as Meryl Streeps roguish ex-husband, we also discussed The Challenge.

The Diva has also been on the quest to abstain from clothing, and associated items, shopping for 12 months and to Shop Her Closet. So far, so good!  The Diva is only partially surrounded by Temptation and her struggle is of quite a different nature. I asked her to ponder the last month and here is what she has to say. You may need a comfortable chair, as the Diva had much to say and I have included her comments in entirety for your reading pleasure.

“I have never had occasion to be in rehab but I imagine what I am feeling now could equate. I feel as though I am recovering from something but must still be very vigilant least I fall by the wayside as the result of an ill-considered glance at a 50% off sale sign or, indeed, any sign with red letters. My last receipt is dated 11th December 2009 and was for a coral, freshwater pearl and quartz necklace for $180, a gift to myself for completing without mishap or incident of any kind 10 ‘Climb Every Mountains’ for the Lord Mayor of Brisbane’s Series at City Hall.

I have made a habit of rewarding myself with something worthwhile at the conclusion of a season or a big concert. Whilst in Rodeo Drive after a concert in Orange County, California, I purchased a navy leather handbag, now hopelessly out of date, at Fred Hamers. An establishment so exclusive that a blood sample was taken before entering and a tracking device was placed on my husband, who had to sit at the cocktail bar with the complete attention of a magnificent bartender who did a fully choreographed show whilst producing a Brandy Alexander, so he didn’t distract Madam from the task at hand. Imagine their disappointment with Madam headed straight for the deleted stock aisle!

Thus far, evasion has been my main tactic. I have found drugs very helpful in this regard and also for my other New Year’s res, losing weight. Anti-histamine is very helpful as it knocks you out for days at a time and one can neither shop nor eat whilst unconscious. Thus the thrilling result is no purchases and 2kg less. This, however, will be problematic when I rejoin the world as a fully participating adult when I have to recommence my position as an interviewer for voluntary positions at Centrelink. This is mainly in consideration for my fellow workers so they can tell me from the clients. I will then be exposed to the main street of Caloundra which bears the unfortunate name of Bulcock Street (not nice for the kiddies, really, is it, or for a jolly holiday experience. Couldn’t they rename it Cavill Mall or something?).

I have bought some particularly eccentric items there, a fur-trimmed poncho in brown astrakhan springs to mind which was recently jettisoned in New Zealand after several years’ wonderful service in the Shakey Isles. When one thinks about it, who but an aging Diva would ever buy a fur-trimmed brown astrakhan poncho in Queensland, Australia, anyway?

The fact is, after 47 days of complete shopping abstinence (apart from petrol, groceries, phone, power and selected personal hygiene items), I can’t really claim any lessened desire. This remarkable feat has been achieved by the use of drugs and the facts that the shops were occasionally closed between Christmas and New Year. Please, please, don’t feel sorry for me and start sending money — I deserve this! I shall tell you why on another occasion as I have become overcome at this point and need to bathe my temples in au de cologne and lie down for a while.

Submitted – The Diva, Judy Glen”
Donations can be sent to the Diva, care of me. You trust me to pass them on. Right?
Want to share?

    Subscribe Today

    and get your free assessment: Are You Addicted to Shopping?
    and free report: The 12 Secrets to Less Shopping - More Style