Today’s post is from Sally McGraw who instituted a self-imposed shopping ban on herself in an effort to knock off her particular shopping dragon.
Everything you’re about to read is true. And since there’s no better person than a communications specialist with a flair for storytelling to do the telling, I’ll hand over to Sally right now. In her own words….
In the fall of 2008, I began a 6 month shopping ban. I was shopping and spending unchecked, causing financial damage, and feeling utterly lost and out-of-control. So, as other style bloggers have done before me, I decided to create a self-imposed ban. I knew quitting cold turkey would backfire on me, so I allowed myself $10 per week to spend on used clothing, shoes, and accessories. Nothing new for 6 months besides gifts.
I did it entirely for myself, because I was feeling awful about my relationship with shopping, not due to any outside input. It was fun and it was hard and it was weird and my readers had varied reactions. Many were supportive of my project, many more fascinated by my progress, and a small minority quite judgmental about my slip-ups. And if I’m being totally honest, three years later my spending is still a little wacky. The constant influx of newness from the bajillion style blogs I read makes it hard to quench that want, want, want feeling.
But I pay all my bills on time, save for retirement, save for personal reasons, have a pension, minimal credit card and no other personal debt. I would never hold myself up as a paragon of financial responsibility, mostly because I believe that every person should decide for herself how money should be spent or saved.
During my shopping ban, I accumulated some wisdom about keeping spending in check. This might be helpful to some of you folks, too. Especially if you find yourself in a constant state of lusting and shopping.
- Cut back on blogs, catalogs, and mags: When the temptation of seeing new things is removed, the urge to shop diminishes. Simple as that.
- Make saving automatic: I have $30 per paycheck deducted and socked into a savings account at a credit union. It’s not my main bank and I frankly have no idea how to withdraw money from it! It’s building slowly, but it’s there. If you can take money right out of your paycheck, you won’t even consider spending it.
- Make a list of unworn items: This is a huge one for me. Whenever I buy something new, I add it to this list. And whenever I do outfit brainstorming, I go through my closet and add to the list any items that are underutilized. Whenever I get that aimless urge to spend on something, ANYTHING, I look over my list. Because it is long. I have lots of stuff. And remembering that I have fun, new or newish items that are yet to be worn curbs the spending urge.
- Create a savings goal: When I have no real reason to save, it’s much harder. I was able to sock away money for our Iceland trip fairly quickly and easily. Whereas just putting it aside for … a rainy day? Car repairs? The future? If you want a house, make a house fund. If you want to travel, make a trip fund. If you want lasik surgery, make a lasik fund. Imagining a larger goal can make saving less difficult.
- HALT: This is an AA trick that I’ve learned. If you’re itching to spend, ask yourself if you’re also feeling hungry, angry/anxious, lonely, or tired. All of those emotions are triggers for addictive behavior and sometimes just identifying what you’re truly feeling can help you dampen the urge.
My shopping ban taught me that my money issues have to do with control. If I can’t control my money, I feel powerless, frustrated, and rebellious. I’ve had to find other ways to work around my urges. If you’re wired like me, some of the ideas listed above may help.
About the author:Sally McGraw is a Minneapolis-based blogger, freelance writer, and communications professional who writes about style and body image issues.
Oh and if you’re wondering about the usefulness or efficacy of shopping bans, you might find this snippet of interest. Donald Black, MD, is professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine and is listed as one of “America’s best doctors”. He writes about all kinds of fascinating things to do with human behaviour and works with people who have shopping addictions.
Dr Black is quoted as saying: “With some patients, I tell them they should have a self-proposed ban on shopping”. So, I’ll take that as a general endorsement of our approach here at My Year Without Clothes Shopping, even though it isn’t a specific one.