Howdie and here we are at blog #51. You know, dear reader, I’ve been having something of a tough week. Emotionally speaking now. Fed up with this, frustrated with that, fumbling around and fuming about something else. All those
Ffffeelings, huh? Yes. I’m a believer in feelings. They exist. They affect us. Some of us more than others, I suspect. Because there are those people who seem to skate through life without nary the hiccup of experiencing a painful or pointy emotional state. They’re like Teflon, and feelings are like oil – they slide right off. But not me. No. My feelings are generally my friends. But some days they are a kryptonite to my superman. This was one of those weeks.
Feelings Convention. So yesterday being Thursday seemed like a good day for my feelings to all converge. They had a Bad Feelings Convention. Right here in my body. Did they ask me? Nosiree, they did not! They just all congregated and then jumped up and down and made a big racket until I had to get in the car and screech out of the driveway. Which I did. Fortunately no small children, dogs or metal trikes were behind me because I suspect we would have had a wee accident if they had been.
Just looking. I took myself off to one of my favourite places to meander (read: shop, way back when I was in shopping mode), Noosa Junction. It has a collection of stores I love to look in, including a great fabric store (Oh Sew), a bead store (Shi Sha), a shoe store (Shoex), a homewares store (Casa Noosa) and a few other places I can never remember the names of. I wandered here, poked my head in there, shilly-shallied in a few other places. It was actually a very nice time, despite the motivation that had gotten me there.
I don’t really want to…No, really. But here’s what’s fascinating. I was looking in a few stores, and discovering stuff that I found quite attractive. And I wasn’t really wanting to buy it. I was happy just looking at it, and appreciating it. Sure, I had a couple of well, not so much “close calls” but moments that in a previous life, might have had me reaching for my wallet (oh, those turquoise All Stars on sale – down from $89.99 to $59.99 – and only one size left – mine! And that orange wrap dress thingo — also on sale. Silk animal print fabric – gorgeous!). It wasn’t a wrench to not buy them. For probably the first time since I’ve been on this challenge, I actually felt good, walking away from these items.
Good huh? This felt like real emotional progress. That even in my charged emotional state, when shopping would have been a salve, a balm, a distraction – used to ‘help’ get me through an emotionally tough time, I could stay on the challenge. And not just “not fall off the wagon”, but actually feel I had some feelings of mastery about not buying. It wasn’t a challenge in the “oh this is going to h-u-r-t” sense. But a sense of accomplishment. Dare I say it, a sense of deep caring for myself. That there was – is – a bigger thing in play here, and sticking on the challenge during that difficult time, was going to grow me somehow.
Gosh, I’ve gone all California, haven’t I? Someone, hand me a plate of mashed alfalfa sprouts and start singing Kumbaya, will you? So, feeling pretty good, in the midst of feeling pretty bad. Guess that makes me about even. Right?
and get your free assessment: Are You Addicted to Shopping?
and free report: The 12 Secrets to Less Shopping - More Style